The Line Between Love and Obsession.

J has to draw the line between love and obsession. His love for his wife has to be as selfless as it is for L. He must be able to let her go, from the bottom of his heart. He has to kill his lust for result. J's wife may or may not come to him, but he has to maintain a stoic indifference while still loving her from a distance. She preys on his obsession for her. She knows the sick hold she has over him, and it's all the currency she has. Selflessness here doesn't mean slavery to her ego. It means cutting her loose to let her find herself. Only then will he open the possibility for her to respect him as a man, and not a support system for her bullshit. You can't have a healthy love without respect as a foundation. He would need to let go of this egotistical jealousy, this desire to own her and "make" her love him.

This cleansing of his love will hurt like a motherfucker, probably worse than a heroin withdrawal. It's not easy, I know from experience. I feel it everyday in my spiritual path. I could substitute "J" for Luiz and "J's wife" for Enlightenment, and how I must love it as I love L. The method is the same and I still make the same mistakes. It's just easier for us to see it in others. I write this because I love J and his wife and because there is a precious lesson in all of this. This perfection of love is the key to all love, and all spiritual attainment. If I was to devise a love spell for them, this is the only way to pull it off - by purging all impurities from the Holy Grail of perfected love. The simple answer? I'll repeat it for both of us. If J's love for L is pure, then J must love his wife as he loves L. Let go. This wouldn't automatically mean she'd love him in return. Maybe she would. The point is that he wouldn't he need her to.

Of course, in the course of writing this, I found this coincidence interesting as couples go. J&J and L&L. This makes abbreviation to protect the innocent a little annoying.