The Legend of King Asar and Queen Isa

The Legend of King Asar and Queen Isa.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent (lol)

Osiris = Asar = Johvan.

Isa = Isis = Gaia.

Horus = Hoor = Heru.

Set = Seth = Pan.

In Archanon, this well known Egyptian myth played out in the ruling dynasty in the ancient city of Thebes, The City of Pyramids. In the story, this was the source of all Egyptian myth. Theban magi formed gateways between worlds and spread the influence of their deities to the Earth dimension. The Old Kingdom of Egypt started as a spiritual colony of Archanon. The influence of Archnon in our world has been around since the dawn of time, but Archanon's Thebes and Earth's Thebes was the first direct link between the two worlds. Sun priests, mystics and magi traveled back and fourth exchanging the mysteries to worthy initiates. Because magick on Earth is subtler and the laws of physics harder to bend, Archanite magi trained on Earth and returned all the more potent. The impact of Theban (Egyptian) and Altherian (Greek) pantheons had a more enduring presence through the ages in Archanon. The portal on earth was such a closely guarded secret, that it remained hidden from the masses long after the fall of the Egyptian kingdoms to the Greeks and the Romans. Only Earth's greatest mystics, like Abramelin (Abraham Merlin) knew of it's existence. With the rise of Christianity, when the Black Brothers began disseminating their lies and misleading the people of Earth, the Conclave sealed the portal between the worlds to prevent the disease from spreading to Archanon. Little did they know then, that Johvan (Asar in his true form) Archanon's patriarch god, would soon become the source of spiritual corruption in their world.

Family Matters

I had an argument with Lisa and Alden today. I started off by sounding condescending as usual, which wasn't my intention. I made a comment about the kitchen being a mess, but if had been more observant I would've noticed that Lisa was still eating lunch and hadn't cleaned yet. This came on the heels of the previous day, when she yelled at everyone, myself included, for not doing enough to keep the house clean.

I can't walk away from this not believing that I'm measured by different standards. Perhaps I am, but rather than sulking or arguing in typical Aquarian fashion, there might be a better perspective. I saw this in my non-thinking moments while working with Irv. We are all held to different standards. If I'm a serious aspirant to the A.:. A.:. it wouldn't do to succeed spiritually while slacking on my secular obligations to my family. I don't think that's even possible.  Like it or not, I will be held to higher and higher standards. The "quest" for inner perfection never ends.

There is something that worries me about all this. Lisa has been inconsistent with matters pertaining to Alden. I could be wrong, but I see her getting emotional and defending him. He then gets a big head and continues in his path of not doing much of anything, while taunting me in small insignificant ways. Yesterday she was very vocal about how little Alden has been doing around the house. Today the story changed. Apparently he has way too many chores and is very busy all the time. It's been two days, which is it?

Yesterday she accused me of being a bad influence on Alden. I made a bet with him that he couldn't beat me in a fighting game, so he spent spent a lot of time playing games and not doing chores. I hoped to encourage him to be cool headed and competitive, able to problem-solve his way to victory even through the rush of emotions. He wasn't ready for it. While Lisa helped me realized how misguided I was, she also said, in her typical exaggeration: "I handed him the tool of his destruction." The truth of the matter is this: He will fuck off all on his own. He doesn't emulate good habits as much as the bad ones in most people. If I read all day, then chose to veg the next day by playing a game, he will only see what he likes - the slacking. She insists that I should strive to be a better influence in his life. I've tried it, and still do in subtler ways, but I don't have to patience to be any more active without being a total dick. This is all I can do without taking responsibility as a full-fledged parent and doing things my way. I simply don't have the final authority of a parent. As much as I picked on him years ago, this would've happened regardless. I am not daddy or mommy, I'm that other guy.

Since that discussion I've been trying but I only met more disappointment. I ask him is he is reading his book and he comes up with bullshit reasons not to, or excuses why he didn't. After all that discussion, the chores Alden should have done last night still didn't get done at the time of this writing. [Update - He did do the stove and went to bed just as I finished writing this] I had to sweep the kitchen today, as I also washed the pots for him last night. He has a lot of little chores and he helps with a lot of other things like bathing the dogs, I'll give him that. But I can't even bring up something Alden hasn't done without Lisa throwing everything that's wrong about me in my face.

There is something strange going on between mother and son, and I can't even begin to dissect it. Lisa may be too close to the problem to see it. I catch hints of unmet expectations, lowering of standards, deflection of blame. I witness this in matters pertaining to Irv, too. She'll complain about certain behaviors, insist that they need changing, but not bring them up to him. Honestly, parenting the Wallings isn't a job I'd want. Sometimes I don't know how she does it. But the effect is this: As bad as I am, it's still easier for her to bitch me out than the other two. Why? I don't really know for sure. Lisa and I are full fledged lovers who are intimately involved in each-others lives, in very intimate ways. I've had a track record of change and self-improvement, which must account for something. Like I said, I'm an aspirant to the Great Work and she is my partner. Like it or not, I will be measured by different standards. The more I learn to balance myself, the thinner the rope will become.

Of course I could be completely wrong about all this, but I'm not a complete idiot. There is something off. I don't like to argue with her. In the midst of an argument I just want us to understand each-other and move on. I'm running dangerously close to just agreeing with her to shut her up. Sometimes it's just easier to assume I'm wrong, because often I am. Yet lately I sense a discord that goes far beyond just my own bullshit. I get that she is stressed and tired of running around the house cleaning after all of us. She was also abused as a child, and there was no adult standing up for her. When Alden is under "attack" it's just so easy for her identify with him and become his defender. It comes naturally to her, though not every time. I love her and I want to help, but whatever I'm doing, it isn't good enough. I hope things normalize a little better when Alden goes back to school, and she won't have to watch him sit around the house being a social disappointment.

The Legend of Queen Babalon

The Legend of Queen Babalon - avatar of Pallas Altheria.



She reacquired her magickal powers through series of sex magick rituals and orgies with those serving under her. She was a Queen-Priestess of Pallas Altheria, her incarnation on earth. She instituted the 12 knights of Pallas. The twelve had to undergo a ritual orgy with the queen to form a intimate psychic link among all 13. There were three grades of intimacy within the order of twelve. They correspond to the numbers 4, 7 and 12. There was a fourth grade which belong to a single knight, this was Lucius, or Frater Lux Maximus the Knight of Therion. Him and the Queen became lovers and stood against Johvan by means of the Great Work, along with Aleph Wraith who sided with them. Over the years the orgiastic ritual required to link all participants has become less overtly sexual and more symbolic. Only 7 of the 12 templars forge a sensual link while 4 of the seven are initiated through an actual sexual ceremony. Of those 4 inner guardians, one becomes chief of the Golden Rose Order and consummates the spiritual link through a highly ritualized sexual initiation with the King-Priest or Queen-Priestess. All are chosen by their sovereign. This is why Lucius' inner guardians are all women.

Magick Missmatch

What the fuck!

I am calm now, but still, what the fuck!

Lisa and I did a cleansing ritual for the house, it went almost perfectly fine except for one time when I spoke up and distracted her. I thought she was missing a spot. I was stupid.

I know I'm a hack when it comes to magick. I'm not making any claim to be something I'm not. Sometimes I am very slow about making connections and understanding the methods of practical magick. If I don't understand something I question it. My problem is that I can't stop and analyse things while actually practicing magick. I have many other faults, but this one is the crux of my misunderstanding with Lisa today. I didn't know when to speak and when to keep silent.

I can say this here, without having to confront her. I did give it my all. I gave all I had within the circumstances. Lisa contested this, but her rant about me not respecting her magick undermined my confidence in her judgement of my character. The truth is, I failed myself. I still haven't been able to balance the elements using the pentagram. I did an LBRP that was so weak I was better off not doing it. I'm struggling with it in many ways, and it's leading to some internal conflicts which I'm well aware of.  I showered, meditated and really had a positive attitude about the ritual. She told me we would be fasting so I ate well the night before. I didn't expect us to sleep in as much and by the time we had to actually mop the floor as part of the ritual, half of my will was devoted to controlling myself.

I was prone to being irritable, and Alden's earlier intrusion in the kitchen didn't help. When I told her to ignore Alden I was actually telling myself to ignore him. I gave her the impressions that I was being controlling of her. What can I say? Alden's argumentative minutiae pisses me off. I don't like doing magick with him around.

She blamed me for ruining the whole thing, but I disagree. It was her working from the beginning, I had no more of a role in her spell than Alden did. She mustered and directed her will through the whole operation while I watched and learned. The most I did was push the mop through the living-room, the bathroom and the laundry room using all of my will to push the qlipothic energy out. That much I accomplished. Over the course of our argument she threw the old Greek adage "know yourself" at my face a few times. What an idiotic expectation of me! Would I even be here if I knew myself?

The fact of the matter is that she works alone. I picked up on many subtle clues about her solitary practice. There could have been more communication, or perhaps what I need is more formal and structured communication. I miss out on a lot in a casual setting. When talking about a ritual we're about to perform, I have to have a semblance of formalism. I need to sit down face to face like when we do serious Tarot reading. She is very organic about things and it works for her. I don't know that it works for me at this stage. I need discipline. That's why getting up early was so important to me.

When she grounded by the tree, she completely forgot about me even as I handed her the components we carried so I could do the same. I just figured I'd do it after bringing everything inside, which is exactly when she began lecturing me about grounding and my bad habits. (I define lecturing here as saying more than a single sentence on the matter.) I admit, I got annoyed, which didn't help. Her rituals are very powerful and I learn a lot simply by observing, but I don't feel even remotely adequate to work with her, or even under her. Magically speaking she is a force of nature while I'm just a tiny little shack loosely held together with Ruach nails.

 As much as she considers herself my teacher in the ways of magick, it doesn't come natural for her. It's the same way with writing and anything she tries to teach me. She has been a solo practitioner for something like twenty years. She works alone and gets results. I am a beginner and a little slow at times. I have some theory, but not enough practice, so I make mistakes. How else will I learn? This was something that she had to do for the house, and the little I brought to the table wasn't worth the trouble. I didn't listen to her or understand the implied subtleties of her methods. The irony in all of this is that it's precisely what I was trying to avoid.

I would love to help her in mundane ways, and watch and learn from her methods. But I can't work rituals with her anymore, at least not until I do some more catching up.