I've watched you, listened to your troubles, and continue to help you in whatever limited way I can. But this morning these words occurred to me. Words that may have been lost, misunderstood, or poorly expressed in my lack of eloquence. So I write this as reflections of my love and concern in general.
To say you only scratch the surface of things is an understatement. If I show you an iceberg, you may see the tip, but won't even see where it touches the water's surface. Your fog blinds you. You can't see the world passed the fecal cloud of your own farts. Your life could be a beautiful mosaic, but instead you sit with all the pieces apart, bewailing your fate: “Woe is me.” Others get their life together while you point and howl screaming at life's injustice. What do you know of justice? You can't even understand that everything is defined by it's opposite, therefore equally valid in the Journey of Life. All things are deserving of your love. Unless you embrace it all, misery and joy with equal measure, the misery will stomp you until you learn your lesson. That is life's divine justice.
How I longed for someone to pull me out of my misery in my Christian years. I grew beyond that fog by way of gentle love. But you've denied love in your life, so be ready for a bumpy ride, my friend. The alternative is the wrath of Ra's lighting toppling thy mortal tower. How I would've loved to be struck in my time of need, so out of love I strike thee. Canst thou discern any of this? The taint of Dispersion runs deep in thy cerebral cortex, inhibiting thy synapses from making all but the most mundane connections. Thy very cognition is inhibited by fear, an by fear thou shall die an animal's death, True Will denied. Oh my friend, please learn from thine errors. How I would love to see thy stellar glory expand beyond animal and human thought, unrestrained by thy mortal husk.
I love thee.
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